JUST HOW MANY PAIRS OF KHAKIS DOES ONE PERSON NEED?
CONFESSIONS OF A KHAKIS JUNKIE.

To most, he is simply referred to as Coleman. A growing legend in popular places where sand and society meet, as this picture would suggest. Over the years, Coleman has been a friend to Bills Khakis. His ideas have helped shape the brand. Coleman writes for a living, and in this case, writes of the problem he has with khakis.

Writes Tom Coleman…
Hello. My name is Tom and I have a problem. Actually, I have many but due to limited space and time, today we’ll concentrate on just one. Yes, I can say it out loud; I have an addiction to khakis.

Like most addictions it starts slowly. You rationalize excuses to buy more and more. “What if they change the color?” “What if the airlines loose my luggage?” What if the government passes a law against khakis and I’m forced underground to meet in secret ‘khakis rallies’ where people shout phrases like “Power to the poplin!” Hey, I’ve read Ray Bradbury, these things can happen.

Having multiple pairs of khakis is also easy to justify. Khakis aren’t like a mattress, or toaster or significant other, where you only need one of each. And you replace them only when they wear-out, break, or leave you for someone named Gary. You can have countless pairs of khakis because each pair fulfills a different function. Let me explain via a few pairs within my vast arsenal:

Old Faithful: This is the pair that has been with you through everything. It has seen more combat than General Schwarzkopf. Stained, tattered, frayed and patched, any sane person would have thrown them away long ago. This pair has served as a pillow, pajamas and on one Halloween, as part of a very poorly executed Charles Lindbergh costume. (No, I am NOT supposed to be Snoopy). This is the pair you care for in a manner not unlike how the Vatican maintains the Shroud of Turin. You hope to preserve and rejoice in them as long as time will allow.

The Workhorses. These are generally five pairs in rotation. They carry the brunt of social load. They are your refuge since the advent of business casual. They work well with most any shirt and with or without a tie. One of these pairs is always at the ready in the event of the arrival of the unexpected cleaning lady or a dress code. (Yes, they still exist but I think you have to go to England or a party at Puffy’s) These are the pairs you can depend on. If they were a person, they’d pick up the bar bill without telling you. They know all your secrets and will never tell.

The Beacon of Hope. It could happen. You could lose that eleven pounds and return to your college weight. And when you do, there is a pair of khakis one waist size smaller than you actually wear, waiting patiently in your closet. It sits all hemmed and pressed, poised for its debut. Oh, the compliments you’ll receive upon wearing them and then you’ll sheepishly shrug and say “Gosh, maybe I did lose a little weight.” From time to time you forego the Toblerone in the hotel mini-bar because you know that in a closet in another city is the pair that will make you the envy of all.

The Beloved. This pair proves that sometimes the planets truly do align in your favor. This is your “good,” pair of khakis. It has the exact cuff, the perfect crease and breaks on your shoe with a touch akin to the flutter of a hummingbird’s wing. Of this pair, you are protective, allowing them out for only the most worthy of occasions. If cloning of khakis were possible (and ethical) this would be the pair. These khakis give faith that the world is truly good, much like a child’s laugh and “Shark Week,” on The Discovery Channel.

So as you can see, it’s not easy to keep your khakis habit in check. There are no support groups and I have never seen it explored on Oprah. However, there is one place to turn where you’ll always find a sympathetic ear. I believe the number is 1-800- 435-4254.

Tom Coleman

KHAKI Do’s & DON’TS

Do’s
Do flat press your plain front khakis.
Do keep at least one freshly starched pair at the ready in your closet.
Do convert your oldest into cut off shorts for one last summer of bumming it at the beach.
Do patch cuts, rips and tears wildly.
Do experience an original pair of Model #1 Button Fly’s within your lifetime.
Do store old khakis in places for emergencies (a locker, car trunk, cabin).
Do wear khakis when you’re not sure of the attire.
Do pull your khakis out of the dryer while it’s moving.
Do beware of khakis made from something less than all cotton.
Do fess up to your true size.
Do roll up the bottoms of your flannel-lined khakis. (Yes, the red will show).
Do keep a pair just for painting. Picasso did.

DON’TS
Don’t wear tight Khakis.
Don’t wear khakis with a khaki shirt unless you’re working for the government.
Don’t wear khakis with the label on the outside.
Don’t stick a cheap pen in your pocket.
Don’t limit wearing Bermuda shorts with a sport coat to Bermuda.
Don’t call khakis slacks.
Don’t show sock unless you’re not wearing any.
Don’t worry about wrinkles!

THERE’S NO APOSTROPHE IN BILLS.

There are questions we hear a lot at Bills, like: “What makes your khakis better?” or, “Why don’t you put your label on the outside of your Khakis? or, “Is there really a Bill?” While each of these questions is perceptive and probing, no question digs deeper into the essence of Bills Khakis than “why isn’t there an apostrophe in Bills?”

While the “apostrophe question” has hardly reached the level of speculation surrounding Rolling Rocks’ cryptic “33,” enough curious brand seekers have asked us why there is no apostrophe in Bills to warrant going on record with the answer. What may appear to be a typo is a purposeful and appropriate omission. Plainly, the word “Bills” was never intended to be possessive.

We didn’t invent Khakis, nor are we presumptuous enough to think we own the right to their heritage. Khakis exist in the world of public domain, belonging to the millions of men and women who wore khakis while serving their country, and later at work, building futures for themselves and their families. At best, we are an adoptive custodian to a little piece of Americana that’s worth preserving, and even celebrating.

Yes, this all sounds a little heady, but heck, a newsletter is the place for flushing these sorts of things out. Besides, you asked.

For those of you who have taken the time to read this issue of the Free Press, consider yourself an insider. For others, the question of why there is no apostrophe in Bills will remain unanswered, hidden deeper and deeper into our Company lore as years go by.

Bill Bradley

BILLS KHAKIS PROFILE: Bill Bradley

Name
Bill Bradley

Home Town
Crystal City, MO

Town you reside
Verona, New Jersey

Occupation
Merchant Banker, Writer, Speaker

Why you do what you do?
Because I love it.

Favorite Distractions (Hobbies)
Music – all kinds. Driving a car in beautiful terrain.

Proudest Moment
Winning World NBA Championships in 1970 & 1973.
Being elected to the United States Senate three times.

Philosophy of Life
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Greatest risk you ever took
Running for Senate against the entire political establishment of New Jersey in 1978.

Favorite Book
Deptford Trilogy by Robertson Davies

Moment I’ll never live down
Being victim of a hidden ball trick in the regional little league finals in 1955.

Quote
“The tragedy is not to die. The tragedy is to die with commitments undefined, convictions unexpressed, and service unfulfilled.”

THE LITTLE KNOWN, OFTEN SPECULATED, ORIGINS OF FATHER’S DAY.

Like so many worthy yet nonessential holidays we celebrate, it would be a safe assumption that Father’s Day was the invention of a company well known for greeting cards.

Surprisingly, Father’s Day came along long before holidays were cooked up by marketing companies. It’s comforting to know that we celebrate Father’s Day thanks to a daughter who wanted to show her dad how much she appreciated all the sacrifices he made for her. Sonora Smart Dodd was raised in Spokane, Washington by her father William Jackson Dodd. She got the idea for Father’s Day in 1909 while listening to a sermon on, you guessed it, Mother’s Day. Sonora felt there should be a day for fathers, just as there was for mothers. The first father’s day was celebrated the following year in Spokane in June, the month of William Jackson Dodd’s birthday.

It wasn’t until 1956 that Father’s Day was recognized by a Joint Resolution of Congress. In 1972, President Richard Nixon established the permanent national observance of Father’s Day to he held on the third Sunday in June.

So, this June, know that the day that has been set aside for dads, is indeed as genuine as the feelings you have for yours.

khak•i (kak´e, kä´ke) n., pl. khakis.

Depending on who you’re talking to, the word khaki (or khakis) can sound as indistinguishable from a pair of tan pants as the word frap is to a milk shake or grinder is to a sandwich.

The letter “a” is the culprit, which can take on many local flavors. The word “khakis” in Boston, sounds more like “Car Keys.” If speaking to someone from England (or someone who wants to be), “Kockies” sound exactly like something a person brimming with confidence would wear. If you live in a place where the language is neutral, “Kackies” sound just like the plainly minded, everyday wear that they are. In fact, there are almost as many ways to say Khakis as there are to wear them. The only thing that remains constant is the spelling, which is exactly what most us can’t get right until the second or third try. So call them what you like, as long as it’s khaki.

“HAWGISMS”


Eddie Holden (a.k.a. “The Hawg”), our Bills Khakis sales rep in the deep South, is famous for his stories, profound views on life and one liners.

“They say most car accidents happen only a few miles from home, but we’ve moved since that study came out.”

 

 

PHOTO GALLERY

Nick Libby sent this team photo of his recent Business School Project at Olivet Nazarene University in Bourbonnais, IL. We were thrilled to learn that not only did they have fun with their project, but they also scored an A+. Nice work Nick (and team). 4 GUYS IN A STORE Bills Khakis aficionado Dr. Jonathan Stoltz gets together with old doctor friends and fellow Bills Khakis knowledgeables in the “Bills Department” at Rusty Bryant’s in Williamsburg, VA.

On November 6, 2004, Bills Khakis’ own Annette Ludwig and Matt Debiec married! Here they share a fleeting moment together at the reception that followed. Annette and Matt have been with Bills Khakis for a combined 14 years. Congratulations to them and their future together!

A NOTE FROM BILL
Our newsletter is intended to extend a special look into our company, the people behind it, and most importantly, the personalities that really make things tick, our customers. We are looking for your letters and photographs for inclusion in our next newsletter. Tell us about your life adventures with Bills Khakis. Your contributions are not only appreciated, but necessary to create a newsletter that lives up to the above.

Contact Customer Service at 1-800-43-khaki or customerservice@billskhakis.com with submissions, contributions and pictures.